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Apr 25 2008
What is your Love Language?

What is your Love Language?
Greetings and happy what ever this is month. You know that it's always something being celebrated to sell a card or promote a store sale. Perhaps I'm a bit cynical, but it seems that we have allowed ourselves to be dummied down by the advertising world and we get so far away from the meaning of holidays and events and get caught up in the commercialization tied to it instead.
What is your Love Language? Speaking of commercialization, I came across a great book that I feel the need to share with you. Honestly, I haven't had time to read the book, but I purchased the audio tape and listened to it in one sitting. 4-hours later I feel like I've been sleeping on this great discovery that no one else bothered to wake me up to tell me about.

The book is called "The Five Love Languages", by Dr. Gary Chapman and it tells you how we all express love in different ways. What I love about the book is that it uses the analogy of love being a different language. Although there are many dialects that fall under those languages, there are only five different love languages and they are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Gift Giving
Acts of Service
Physical Touching


Let's say that you are like me and your "love language" is Words of Affirmation. According to the good Doctor, you and I need to receive words of encouragement or positive reinforcement to feel love. Now I also happen to think that I'm bi-lingual and speak the "love language" of Quality Time too. This is pretty much what it sounds like. Spending quality time with someone is more than being in the same room with them. It means giving and receiving their undivided attention. Gift Giving is the love language that connects getting gifts with feelings of love. That gift can be something monetary or physical like time. The Acts of Service "love language" is when what others do for us makes us feel loved and appreciated. These acts can range from doing the laundry to cooking us a meal. Finally, there is Physical Touch. Holding hands, kissing and that other physical stuff is very important to someone that speaks this love language.

The premise behind the book is that if two people are together and they both speak a different love language, there will be a breakdown in communication when conflicts arise. For example, if your are a words of affirmation person and your mate a physical touch person, they may try to comfort you or speak to you in their language, through touching, hugs, holding hands etc. If they don't say anything, you are not going to respond as you would if they said to you "hey, you got this, you are the strongest person that I know, I love you", and vise-versa. If you respond to their needs with words only and no touching, they will walk away feeling like something is missing.

If you have any questions, about what "love language" you speak you can also look at the website at www.fivelovelanguages.com. You can take a 30-second assessment to discover your language of love...whatever it is let's all just talk until we're blue in the face. It's worth taking a listen to or picking up the actual book and learning a different take on the very thing that we all live and breath for...L -O-V-E!

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