Jun 14 2008

Are You Shy or Just Lonely?

I remember how writing it made me feel when I thought about all the people that I'd met in my former career as a radio person. There would be the regulars that would call in faithfully every day. They would all start out by requesting a song. Then there would be a story or a question. Then it was just to say hi. They felt connected to this perfect stranger, me.

For a long time I thought that it was just my incredible warm and inviting personality that drew them to me. Now I'm starting to believe that they were just tired of being alone and wanted someone, anyone to talk to them and to listen.

The good and the bad about the internet is that as it's globalized us and made it easier to connect with so many different people in almost every nation, it has also done the opposite. It has kept us locked up in our homes, behind closed doors, physically and mentally attached to a piece of hardware- not another person. The sad thing now is that we've advanced so much technology wise, that we don't even have to stay in doors to be isolated from the world. How many times have you gone into a coffee shop or to the airport and you've seen people entwined with their PDA's, their cell phones, their laptops. We use to have conversations with strangers, make new friends or at least share funny stories.

Now we rely on blogs, social networking sites and reality TV shows to introduce us to the people and races that we don't meet and even they only tell us part of the story. My intention was to write about shyness. I guess that I can still mention that people both shy and outgoing, are more likely to make deeper and quicker connections with others on the internet than they would in person. Perhaps the reason is because we feel a sense of security and less vulnerability than we would in the real world face to face.

Some may say that this is a false sense of security, because you really don't know who you're talking to until you really find out. I say the same can be true in person. We only hope that the people we meet are truthful and honest with us as we are being with them.

Well, if you are one of many that suffer from shyness, than the internet could certainly be a great tool for you. Not only can you meet people and get to know them prior to having a face-to-face. You can also gain access to valuable resources and/or groups that are available to you. There is the option to get individual therapy or group therapy, social skills classes and as with many anxieties there is a choice of taking medication.

Maybe the simplest solution to combating loneliness and shyness is to get out and dare to do something different. Meet one person at a time in a safe and mutually agreed upon public location. I'm not saying to turn off the computer indefinitely and head to the local bar; I'm just saying that to conquer your fears you must do that which you fear.

My fear is being naked in front of a crowd, so I'm about to take it all off and step outside. I'm only joking... I'm going to wait until it gets dark outside silly.

This is Leticia, what are you afraid of and what are you willing to do today to change that feeling?

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