Nov 01 2008

Why men cheat...again

The name of the book is "The Truth about Cheating...Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It" by M. Gary Neuman. He was on Oprah last month talking about this new book and the fact that it was inspired by an earlier appearance on her show. I missed that one, but heard about it. The show took place not long after 911 when there were a number of women who had been cheated on by their firefighter husbands with the widows of other firefighters. The author was there to help these wives.

Mr. Neuman's book says that it's purpose is to help women build a solid marriage. It discusses why and how men cheat, what to do to improve your marriage, healing after the affair and my favorite parts are the statistics. It always amazes me that the numbers can be so far apart. I mean it's mentioned that anywhere between 22-70 percent of married men cheat. Hey, that's the difference between two guys playing a little one-on-one in basketball and a whole damn pro team with two sitting on the bench.

Somewhere in all this research it's been said that around 50 percent of men do it. I'm sure that it's not irony that over half of all marriages end in divorce although the number one reason is NOT because of infidelity. It's always about something else isn't it? The reason men and women cheat, the explanation of why some people find it easier to give up and give in than to try to make things work.

It's somewhat comical to me that I hear a lot of people blaming the Internet for the serge of cheaters. It's only funny because there has been research dating back as far as the early 50's that suggest that nearly one half of married men back then where cheating or had cheated on their wives too. Of course that was a long time before cyber-sex, chat rooms and web cams were even thought about. I'm sure that the creation of the Internet has made finding someone to "do your thang" with a whole lot easier, but it by no means has "made" men do it.

The reality is that these guys, whether it's 2 or 7 out of ten, they are not cheating alone. As the book points out, the days of lying to a woman about being married or unhappy in your relationship is no long required to get a woman in bed.

The other day I was having a conversation with my massage guy (who's married). He tells me this story about one of his co-workers that's been coming on to him. I ask "doesn't she know that you are married", he laughs, "yeah, but a lot of women don't care". I guess that's a whole other article.

This is Leticia, do you, could you, have you, would you? Remember the verse..."do unto others....I get it...do you?"