You've just come across a profile that has caught your eye and you can't wait to send that first message. A few days go by and no response. Why didn't she reply? Well, it could have been what was written in your e-mail (or not, in many cases). You've only got one chance to make an impression across that two-dimensional screen, so make it count. Here are four tips on writing an e-mail that's sure to get you noticed —and more important, get you a response!
1. READ HER PROFILE We gals have put a lot of thought into what we've included in our profiles, and we like to know they are being read. By reading her profile, you have an opportunity in your initial e-mail to point out interests that you and the person you're writing to have in common. She loves backpacking? Mention how you just got back from a hiking trip in Bali. Her favorite food is Italian? Tell her you make a mean manicotti. Knowing you took the time out to find out a little more about the person you're writing to is destined to impress.
2. TELL HER A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF That doesn't mean just writing down your number and saying, "Call me." A girl likes to get to know a guy a little before she hits reply. Hopefully, you've already filled out your profile so she has an idea of who you are and what you're about, but if you haven't, make sure you include a brief bio about yourself in your initial e-mail. This is especially important if you don't have a picture posted on the site. This is the only information the woman you're writing to will use to determine whether she's going to write you back.
And on the subject of pictures: Maybe you don't look like Brad Pitt, so you're waiting to win her over with words before you send a shot. But you should include a picture of yourself by the second e-mail. Most women will still correspond with you if they've been impressed by your words, but it does start to feel a little shady if you keep refusing to send your mug shot. (Are you a wanted man?) After all, you've probably seen ours, and turnabout is only fair play!
3. NO NEED TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS The site is a multicultural dating site, so it's pretty much implied that you're open to meeting people of different races. Pointing out in your initial e-mail that you "love black women" or "dig dating Asian chicks" is kind of redundant, and a little bit creepy. It makes a girl wonder if you're really interested in getting involved with someone outside of your race or just feeding a fetish. If you want to give a compliment, try making it specific to the person you're writing to, such as "I love your smile", or "You have really pretty eyes."
4. SPELL CHECK You wouldn't send out a cover letter with spelling and grammatical errors, right? That should also go for your initial e-mail. Remember, you're putting your best foot forward, so take a minute to reread your e-mail for mistakes. I often step away from my computer for a little bit, return and check over an e-mail one last time before sending it. It gives me a chance to see my note with fresh eyes.
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