Sep 15 2008

Stay with your Own Kind

Hi, my name is Leticia and I'm a MATEer. With all my heart I thought right up to the writing of this article that I was a dater. However, upon looking at my history, atlas, I realize that I am not. The funny thing is that I love to go out and have a good time, make new acquaintances and all that, but, I usually do that with my own tried and true friends. It's through that group that I usually meet someone else and long before I go out on a date with them, I always ask myself if this is a man that I would want to be in a relationship with? Do I want to invest my time, energy and creativity in getting to know him?

If so, I go, if not, why bother going out on a date...I'm not that hard up for a free meal. That's me. I have to say that I haven't been on very many dates. This is how I've come to realize that I am in fact a MATEer. It seems that by the time I've gone through the selection process in my mind on who I want to date, I've been so "on-point" that I promise you that over 90% of those dates have turned into relationships. The shortest being my high-school sweetheart and we are still friends today.

Why did I think that I was a dater? Well, I think it's because I love the idea of being with different men (in a non-sexual way), having a great time and not looking for anything more. Just being me. See the majority of my friends are male, my two best friends right now are guys. We talk about religion, sex, politics, women, men the whole gambit. There's no trying to impress just "invest". I've learned more about myself and guys along the way. This is what made it so much easier for me to "not waste time" on guys that I know where not to be a part of my big picture.

Being a DATEer to me symbolizes a person that is not afraid to go out and have a good time despite not having the perfect man or woman in their life to do it. So many of us are so alone and lonely and yet we refuse to try and have a good time. I guess that's why I've always thought that I was a DATEer, because, even when I wasn't in a relationship, I had no problem going out for the sake of going out. Calling friends and saying, hey, I want to see that new movie, or I feel like dancing, paying my own way. Or if the funds were low, telling them "hey, I'll get you next time".

It's like the saying 'if you don't know where you're going, how will you know when you've arrived? If you are a man or woman that is a MATEer like me, and you are spending your time, energy, money and efforts going out with DATEer's, yeah, the possibility exist that one day they may find someone that they want to mate with, but the truth is that right now...that's now what they are looking for. Timing is everything in a relationship.

It's like going to a non interracial dating site and hoping to find other singles that want to date interracially. Yep, you can find them, but boy if you don't have to go through a lot of other folks to get there. So, this is one of those rare times when you will hear me say...maybe you should stay with your own kind. DATEers with DATEers and MATEers with MATEers...unless you want to spice things up...and that's okay too. Do you, just know who YOU are first!!

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