Nov 01 2008

Why men cheat...again

I knew an ex-call girl who told me men cheat primarily because they are emotionally neglected or abused and only secondarily from denial of sex. She had men who would just want her to really listen, understand, sympathize and support them because they couldn't get that from their wives. Emotional abuse can lead to cheating in those without a decent and strong moral fiber or divorce for those with self-respect. I think a true team spirit and romantic, sympathetic outlook are ways to avoid going down this road. Too many have relationships that are me versus you, instead of wholly us-oriented.

I think there's a lot of ego and imaturity involved in cheating, on both sides of the fence. I've seen far too many men with loving wives at home, who are out running around cheating. Many of these are the men who claim their wives don't listen and support them... GET OVER IT! She she parenting your children, cooking, and cleaning house after working all day herself. If the men were at home taking on their share of the responsibity in parenting and housework, they'd be too tired to run around with anyone else. The same holds true with women who have too much time on their hands. Many of the women that I know of who have affairs, have husbands who take on the role of housewife and nurturing parent, leaving the woman too much free time and feeling neglected. Put on your big girl panties and become a responsible adult!

I would say that I have read the enire article and I loved it. I truly respect it and I understand also as a woman why men cheat. Men have been what society calls "adultrous". Since the beginning of time(Adam and Eve in the garden, kicked out) get it....well anyway, I believe that is where it all began. I do not want to start a church discussion, but it is what it is. I think that what actually what we as a society have chosen to accept is that there should be one woman and one man. Biblically speaking, that has not happened....still waiting....and I know that I would be for a long time. I do not codone cheating but, I just think that when men and women seek other sexual relationships outside of their initial relationship that it should not be taken lightly but understood. Maturity consists of adults communicating with one another. In today's society we do not see that or should I say "hear" that. If we truly listen to one another and respect each other and LOVE, then we would not be on this website responding to a post in conjunction with a book relating to cheating. We do not need scientific research on the fundamentals of so called cheaters. Also, men are not the only people with the statistics dating back to the 50's with 50% of the advantage. Women were of the same caliber. Let's not beat up on man because he got caught. Remember, according to the "Word" the woman fell first and with man loving her supposedly, he decided to fall too. With me being a woman and with all of this said, I am going to say in closing that if and when you meet someone do not expect to be the only one in that person's life and loins. If you keep this keen thought in your mind throught your life and your relationship then you have no reason to be upset. Quietly within yourself judge every mate by the potential of this and do NOT let them know. Then, you will come to understand and appreciate the fact that you will not be the only person that the person in which you are with will love with the potential of excurricular activities. I am not saying approve of infidelity, I am literally saying understand it for what it is, take precautions and keep living. This is the WORLD we live in. ENJOY!

I cheated once but it had nothing to do with the great wife I had. The problem was me I had a whole fantasy thing going on that I didn't deal with before or during my marriage. So when the oppurtunity came I was bound to do it. It made me take a good look at myself and ask whats wrong with me? I think decent people (men and women) never expect to cheat, but some internal issue rears its ugly head, and when the oppurtnity arises, baaam you're there cheating. Personally, I was so full of guilt and felt so crap that I never even went near that bridge again. The worse thing is now something in my life has happened and she cant be a part of and that makes me sad

When your significant other becomes another "object" in your life, like your boss or your buddy, you might be tempted to cheat, Especially if the other woman is attractive and/or seems to listen to your problems a lot better. Other than that, it's cheating men who don't value sex as a relationship importance or they don't value the woman they're with. Guys...Quit Cheating! It makes it harder for me to Date!!!

its because of our wifes.im an a good example.there is no more love in our relationship

The main reason people cheat is because they're not willing to wait to have the experiences they need before commiting themselves to a relationship. Then when they find that their significant other is lacking something that is of interest to them, they secretly search for it in other people. Thus changing the dynamics of the relationship they're in by giving this new person their emotional and mental strength. Ex: My fiancee and I are exploring our sexual boundaries. I recently found that he has an interest in things that gay men do. I only found this out because while exploring his body, i ran across and aroused area that shouldn't have been. Had I stopped, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to see and the things he allowed afterward. Had he explored these desires before commiting himself to me I wouldn't be afraid now that he doesnt know what his sexuality is.

Full heartly agree with the comments of both MRLEES and SHELONTA. In order to tackle any issue, you need to bare it from it's sentiments and social blabla (like: talk to a person casually and ask him/her what he or she wants and you more often than not get their real wishes - Now ask it around December or iwth a camera and you get the "peace on earth and good health jibber) Same with cheating, we keep talking about men cheating, disregarding that the number of women doing this is equal if not larger. Why it happens ... cause it feels good and is in a homo sapiens gens ... do cheaters cheat to hurt their partner...well this doesn't even come into play untill after the event...we should really let go of this one man, one woman mantra (cause how else can we explain that if a relationship has ended....somehow most people encounter someone else and can again have a meaningfull and deep emotional and loving relationship.

This is a very Nice article. i like it. What i can suggest is that most men do not have a good reason to cheat on thier wives .The fact remains that they are never satisfied with what they already have and just want to explore all women who attract them. There is less a woman can do to prevent a man from cheating if he wants to do it. African men are the worst in cheating of course.

People cheat because monogamy is such a completely unreasonable standard. Especially for those of us who grew up as serial monogamists in the 70's and 80's, getting married is a huge let down. The two people who can continue to satisfy each other sexually, emotionally, spiritually and in every other was required for monogamy are rare indeed. It is an antiquated notion that I, personally, am done with. Sadly, many people who stand in judgment of me for being honest will find out for themselves the truth of this. What makes me saddest is that we will probably continue to perpetuate this practice and many people will spend their lives in misery rather than break the vow. Many will be miserable because they let their partner, whom they love, down. After 20 years of marriage and 5 years of counseling, I have re-taken the part of me that needs something else. My partner still enjoys the good life and I don't bother her with the details. Is it ideal? No, far from it, but then, for us, marriage isn't ideal either.

Men from the beginning of time have had more than one woman, if ever they could afford to care for em.Monogamy is a christian concept that has been deeply engraved into our psyche and we only try so hard to abide by the rules.It is not any different from the jungle where a strong Lion controls a pride with several females.The fact that Man's intellectual abilities are superior than most other animals does not negate the fact that we are still animals.

I don't understand why all the articles or pieces on cheating focuses on the man, and makes it look like WE are the bad ones all the time. Its been shown several times that women cheat just as much as men and in some surveys MORE than men. Why? Because people choose to point fingers at the guy, and the woman slips quietly out the back door, fixes her hair, and acts innocent.

Oh right, I forgot to mention that my first wife cheated on me. After a year of counseling, I offered her the choice of swinging (having other partners on purpose) or getting divorced. She chose divorce. Now I find myself at the threshold of 50 with a spouse who is literally "done" with her sexuality. Mine is still in fine stride. What do I do? Focus on other things? Tough to do when you go to sleep and wake up to a woman whom you love, but just isn't "into it". Sex had been a big part of our intimacy. It isn't that way now. Our intimacy comes from planning our lives together, and caring for our aging parents and growing children. Sex is something that some people can easily separate. It was hard for me, but necessary. The women I have dated this year feel the same way, or we wouldn't have gotten together. So it's not just a guy thing. It's a human thing. Sexual intimacy is a need like air, water, and sleep. Some need more than others, but the mystiques and taboos we have built up around it are really causing this problem. Let's set the expectation differently. I am teaching my children to build relationships that last by understanding that humans aren't perfect so a relationship isn't likely to be either. They can do their best by associating themselves with people who can agree on a common set of ethics and boundaries and are willing to work at it. Thanks for the thought provoking article!

Any discussion of extra-relationship sex has to differentiate between the reasons for and the types of cheating. Unfortunately in this country, idiotic religious sentiment has colored our thinking and poisoned the waters of serious discussion on sex. Only childish lack of reason leads people to buy into the Ten Commandment lunacy about adultery. There is no god, no commandment..... most cheating occurs because biologically we are programmed to have sex, and that's that. The efforts at civilizing the baser instincts of humans is still a rather immature project; we've only been living in literate societies for a few milennia. That's a relatively short time to root out the biological behaviors. Feminists may refute that and say what they will, but men are men, men are the sexual aggressors of the species, and the penis reacts to things no matter what the emotional situation the man may be involved in. Certainly, men do not HAVE to act on an impromptu erection, but that's the starting point for understanding 'cheating.' A guy -- or a woman -- who scores a quicky with a stranger with no, absolutely no, residual emotional component may have cheated, technically speaking, but he has not set out to intentionally undermine the emotional state of his existing long-term relationship. A man who cruises the streets and bars looking to score, when he has deliberately deceived his partner into believing he's not doing this, has a moral problem when it comes to maintaining trust in a relationship. (And yes, atheists can have morals, but morals ungrounded in religious nonsense.) The bigger problem is that we've deceived ourselves, with the help of Hollywood and the Dr. Phils of the world, that 'true love' and other childish notions ought to be the goal of everyone's life. Humans are nothing more than hairless apes still learning what distinguishes them from the rest of the animal kingdom. (And we find out, more and more, that is isn't very much at all.) The childish emotional attachments we place on relationships do nothing but drag us down neurotic, self-defeating paths of misunderstanding. The sooner we realize that it will be thousands of more years until we've begun to successully meld modern thinking with primordial instinct and have modern moral sensibilities begin to finally overwhelm the instinct. Ladies, a serial, purposeful cheater is a bad guy. A guy who gets head in the broom closet at work after the new intern walks by and winks at him is not trying to leave you behind. He's just a guy with a functioning penis who spent five minutes relieving an urge. (And guys, if your wife did the winking and the kneeling.... ditto.) Can we get over ourselves and grow up now?

I'm taking notes....nothing worse then gettign involved with an angry woman who uses phrases like 'all men cheat' and 'my man cheated in last relationship'. My pen is running out of ink. Women NEVER cheat....that should be next article. 'Why Women NEVER Cheat' Women will make it clear when they been cheated on. They will analyze it. Dudes are not going to come forward and admit to it. Its such a loaded question for any research. Its like asking people 'Are you great in the sack?'

Lovers can avoid "cheating" by not lying, no bragging, no questions of the 3rd degree, don't be selfish, Keep good manners, Be descret and listen more than you talk and when you talk, Never raise your voice as a weapon and not only should you remember her birthday, But that of her Mom's as well. Inter-act with her family. Be generious and fair with her. Please bathe and keep up your hygene and appearances up. Starting dating your wife, She still likes McDonald's, little love notes ice cream and music. Keep up your FICO score. Run the wash and fold it on the sofa in front of the TV, She'll put it away. Get a sting mope with a wringer-bucket and get behind her when she sweeps. Clean the shower and tub, Let her see you sit and piss, Make a big production out of ridding junk mail from from the living quarters, Put a $1.00 candy bar and single flower on her side of the bed, Say something nice and encouraging when she feeling down, Make her laugh just before you leave on your mission, Promise her that you'll be back! Call her and tell her about the $5.00 earrings you left under her pillow, Then tell her you'll see her after awhile. Call her dad and thank him for having her, and giving her to you, Threat these calls like business calls, direct and to the point. You can do this while driving. Send your lover away and alone, And you keep the kids, give the kids off to the grands or other trusted ones, Go get some honey from your wife. Learn to cook if you don't know how, Bang your teacher, Learn to pot plant, bang the instructor, Learn to dance and have some great sex while at it. Buy your wife a new CD. Dance naked with her and have better sex. If you change your ways and treat your wife special your could fuck a Rhino on the front lawn and she'll gladly hold it's head for you. The only reason people cheat is because they are unwilling to do the things that make cheating ok with the cheatee. AND,,, Remember your manners, One good deed deserves another, Because she to bets bored and likes a little bit on the side from time to time.

(Part1- Women's guilty role.) LUST is the reason why man cheat. After all, we do live in a VERY lustful world. It's hard for a man to stay focus on one woman when there are so many sexually apealling women out there. Women don't make it any easier for a man either. It's very fashionable in our society for women to dress whorish; with their tight little pants and short skirts. Women are too blind to see their guilty role in all this. I'm not [completely] blaming women, but they do play a part in the lustfulness in our society. You can't dress whorish and expect there not to be any backlash. Muslim women are sometimes criticized for their dress code, but any respectable woman should cover her body and leave her private parts, private. No need to flunt your body around for the wholeworld to see. Then you wonder why men cheat. Why do you women dress sexy anyway? All it does is make you more attractive and apealling for men to want to persue you and sex you. So ladies, the next time you think about putting on a short skirt, or having your thong showing in the back, think about how you are potentially contributing to a man cheating.

"Blind men don't cheat!" Lol @ MRREALMAN. That has to be the best one I've heard all week...;-)But I think I see where you are going with your comment and that is all the general views that people have developed over the years i.e. men cheat women don't cheat, men are visual, women are not is all a bucnh of bull....! I totally agree.

I feel sorry for men after a conversation I've had with one. Seems as though their mind gives them mental images all day. My friend said he could be working on a major project at work with all men, noone saying to one another and a mental image of a woman he saw about a year ago will just pop up in his mind for no reason. He said it happens to them all day, everyday to boot. Now, if your mind is geared to do this naturally, how do you fight off advertisements, the hoochie walking down the street, or the office tramp from commanding your imagination? It must be a very strong man (or woman) who can resist temptation. Now the question is not what can a woman do to stop it, the question is how can a man build himself up enough mentally that he doesn't do it at all.

I agree with you Katherine that life is all about choices.. Cheating is inevitable where committment is based on lies...you can't have both ways and survive one is bound to fail..and i'd rather be left free to go than have a cheating partner

men cheat because they can but i do not put up with i tell men straight up so they can leave with out getting what they deserve .If women put down the law there would be less cheating.

I see prejudice in your thoughts { sexual } as it takes both a man and a woman to cheat , cheating would be difficult with just one person involved . Women cheat when they have sexual affairs with married men , because some of them are married also and if they know a man is married they are cheating on his wife also . I believe it should be a shared Blame . homesteader

First off, I am not a cheater, and I don't necessarily agree with men (or women, for that matter) who cheat. If you feel the need to cheat, your relationship is already over and it's time to dissolve it (break-up or divorce). So, the best reason I have ever heard for why men cheat came from radio talk show host, Tom Leykis. He offered that there are three simple rules women can follow to KEEP her man's eyes (and other parts) on her. Those rules were: 1) Stay thin, 2) Long hair, and 3) Shut up. Tom is a little blunt, so I'll break down my interpretation of what he was REALLY saying. Stay thin: This one goes without saying. Men are very physical; always have been, always will be. He married you partly because he was attracted to your physical appearance/body style at that time. If you're thin, he likes thin women - so stay thin. If you're chubby, then he likes that - so stay chubby. Otherwise, women who look like what he likes will catch his eyes. I have never understood why women think it okay to gain excess weight once they are married... Common sense should tell them that is not cool. Next, long hair: While myself - and I think a majority of men – do actually prefer long hair, I interpreted this as don't let yourself go in the face/head area either. You're competing with younger, long-haired, clean skinned women as you age. The body is one thing, but men are also attracted to a pretty face. Women will say, "well, short hair is easier to manage". Okay, well that's a trade off! So is smoking... Few men want to be staring into "smoker-face" while you're at it. Tanning is also horrible for your skin! Excess make-up/chemicals can't be too healthy either. Women do horrible things to their face and hair... Just remember, you're competing for his attention with the twenty-something new hires at his office. Lastly, he says to shut up. So this doesn't mean literally don't speak - ever. His advice here is just don't nag the man’s ear off. One of the easiest ways to push a man away is to nag at us. If you have a demand or a request, present it once - and not sooner than an hour after we've gotten home. "Okay" means the request is logged in our mental task folder with your other 500 demands, and we will get to it when we get to it. "Take out the trash!", well that's low-priority. I'll do that when I'm leaving the morning of trash day. When you cross over into nagging, then yeah you're going to push your man into the bed of a woman who doesn't. Men hate nagging! So yeah… Anyway, being a man, I have met/been friends with men who have cheated or who cheat compulsively. The main reason I have heard is basically being denied sex by their girlfriend/wife. I hear a lot of men say that at first when they enter a relationship/marriage with a woman, the quantity and quality of sex is perfect; however, that diminishes exponentially with the duration of that particular union. Some guys have told me that their women start using sex as a "bargaining tool" (I'm not f---ing you again until you do this or that), and then when it does happen, it is blah - at best! I'm not sure what part of this women have not managed to grasp in the past couple of centuries, but men enjoy frequent sex - preferably with an attractive woman. And that leads to the other reason I hear most often, girlfriends/wives do not keep-up their appearances.

KJ, How about staying young. Women between 19 and 35 have some of the tightest bodies and are usually wrinkle and flab free. Sorry but that's why every man who divorced their wives traded them in for a newer, tighter and sexier model.

I don't think monogamy is "natural", but a result of social and economic conditioning. Marriage exists partly to protect women and offspring from abuse and neglect. Personally, I believe that when we can see love and sex as two completely different functions, it will be easier to take it less personal that someone might desire another person. I find it strange that we can have multiple friends for our habits and hobbies, but only one person with which to be sexual with, as though we are the be all, end all in the bedroom. This does not mean that I agree with cheating behavior. Cheating is lying and that is not acceptable. If people were honest and upfront in the beginning about what they wanted, they just might be surprised with how much their partner will allow.

Cheating is a breach of trust and not confined to gender.

Men and women cheat because that is a character flaw. Its a character flaw that if known/shows itself I stay away from. Sometimes you will be able to avoid the headache by having someone you respect vouch for this woman or man. This is not foolproof, but you do limit the odds.

"Real men dont live by a woman's law?!" But what... real men cheat?! WTF is that?! I'm sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding, but that's how I take that comment that "Mrrealman" made. And I wasnt even thinking of posting my own comment until I saw his. I can see how Christian believes have conditioned humans into thinking that "one man and one woman together for ever" is the way it's supposed to be. However, some of the more godly and religious men (chosen by god) of the bible had many women; King David, Abraham. Its been acceptable for men to have many women because men have been the (physically) strongest of the specie so they've been able to make up the rules. It was ok for Abraham to have 4 wives, but if any of his women (or any of Kind David's many women) had more than one man, they would've be considered a whore... and probably stoned to death. I'm not much of a believer of religion, I do believe that we, as part of the animal kingdom, are animals, and most animals, like lions and deer, have many females. That however, is natures way of controlling and preserving the population, the specie, and making sure that the strongest and healthiest male is producing strong, healthy offsprings, not a bunch of weaklings- for survival. We as humans, are already over-populated and with this over-population has come many problems in my opinion; hunger, illnesses, diseases, wars, environmental problems,other species going extinct, etc... We are animals too, but unlike other animals, we have the capacity to act and react with the ability to think and rationalize first (about the consequences for our actions), not merely by instinct. Which means that women AND men should think of the consequences to the relationship and the effects to those who love you the most, if you sleep with someone else without your partner's consent. If both persons in the relationship agree to a non-monogamous relationship and are perfectly ok, than AMEN and more power to you, but if you're both in a "committed" relationship with each other, than both partners should be respecting the boundaries of that relationship. Unlike other animals, we also have the ability to communicate with each other and talk things out. If one partner is missing something from the relationship; more affection, more communication, more romance, more sex, more kinkiness, or whatever, then they should be able and willing to talk about that to help the relationship. I think like people, relationships are always changing, and we as humans need to constantly work on our relationships to make them better and stronger. It's a give and take, it should be 50/50 at all times. This, (most)men need to get through their heads. Like someone's comment pointed out, if women now a days are not just raising the children, but in charge of the housework, working, paying bills, doing the groceries, or going to school- and everything in between, then they may very well be pretty exhausted and overwhelmed at the end of the day (not to mention resentful) of everything they've had to do, to also have sex. Just FYI- most women may see sex as yet one more thing to do to satisfy someone else, not herself. Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs explains, humans will want to take care of their basic needs first before taking care of any other: breathing, food, water, sleep, and yes, SEX! But an exhausted person will want to take care of the need for rest before the need for sex. Just like any person will choose first to breath to stay alive before taking care of their need to eat. On the other hand, there are men who are very helpful in their relationship with their partner and get very little in return to satisfy their manly needs. I've known of women who care very little about their appearance or of the importance to do their share to spice things up in the relationship and in the bedroom, or maybe even more emotionally distant than their male counterpart. I believe its important for a woman to keep herself attractive, feminine, and sexy because, like MRREALMAN said, a man will be constantly exposed to a sexy, attractive woman while out and about. It might make him feel good to know he has one at home that's all his. Trying new things in the bedroom to spice things up, dressing up, playing roles and scenarios are things every woman should be willing to do to keep things interesting. And it shouldn't be done just for "HIM," but for yourself as a woman too, because its sexy and hot damn it. I can go on and on, but I'll get off my soap box now. I believe, ultimately what it comes down to, is having consideration, openess, communication, and respect for each other as partners to avoid the cheating. If one person isn't willing to give all these 50/50, then the other person needs to realize this and move on. And if the people in the relationship have different points of view about what "committment" means then they need to find someone more compatible with their thoughts and belives.

People cheat beacause they are gamblers and willing to risk something with longevity for something temporary. Lust leads us in different directions and only GOD can change ones heart. The faithful man stands tall with integrity. The cheater is weak and full of nothing.

i really liked the article. i am one of the women that has a cheating "other". By no means did i do anything to deserve it. What some people have to realize that you as a female can satisfy your man to the fullest, but that isn't going to keep them from cheating. I don't know exactly what it is that makes a person feel that they have to cheat. Some men can love their woman and think that she is the most beautiful person on earth, but then they can see someone that they also think is beautiful. They think the other person is beautiful in a whole entire different way...

I think people cheat because, people love for so many different reasons, alot of time a person is inlove with another because of what they can get. when all of that is out, then the love is over with, so they began to find love elsewhere, another reason is a lot of people is not happy with themselves, so in order to be happy they might find happiness by getting involve with different people. which is never through happiness.

I understand why men cheat because I have been the other woman more than once. I am also married and selfish. The men who have become my intimate friends, past and present, have a list of complaints that don't change. The complain that sex sucks after marriage but thier wives no longer do. No matter how she looked before marraige she always lets something go. As a wife with a family I know this is true because I am as sexy today as the day I met my spouse and he appreciates it. Worst of all is all that mouth. Men marry sweet women who find a way to compromise and end up with a demanding bitch who refuses to budge. I am the anti-wife for these men and they would trade any of thier wives to be with me if I allowed it. They see me as the perfect alternative to the drag the wife has become. A woman who is enthusiastic and sexually open and willing and looks and smells good enough to eat. I never object to this either or anything else that excites him as long as it's not painful or humiliating and IIII decide. I am a freak because it is who I chose to be. It just works out well for your husbands. Take some advice from me. If you become more like me you won't have to be as concerned about me or other women like me. As for my spouse. I am everything listed above for him plus I run the hell out of my home. He has no worries, no sexual frustration, and he knows I really don't care if he plays around a bit. I bury my head in the sand for him and will continue to do so as long as he knows his place and respects my position. You women better wake up, perform some routine maintenance(yes, shave the kitty...they love that), and become the whore in the bedroom that your man desires. He may still stray but at least you won't have yourself to blame.

I'm not one for cheating, I have more respect for myself and for whoever I'm with. The responsible thing to do is talk to your partner if you're unhappy with the way your relationship is going, that way you can work together to fix the problem. If that doesn't work, then it's probably time to walk away. Either way, the cheating issue is resolved.

Just the facts . I am from an island where there are 8 women for each 1 man. In a lot of parts of South America there are 12 women for each 1 man, the list can go on. So isn't it time that we do the natural (primitive) thing of sharing a man? just take out the agendas and say Monday is for Lola, Tuesday fro Brigith, Wednesday etc. and maybe a day you swap days or skip and take two days whatever. But clearly this monogamous stuff is not working, expecially with the bunch of horny ladies lurking to snatch daddy away from his happy family. Just trying to be realistic and not live ideas that are not feasable.

When I first felt that my husband of 7 yrs. was cheating on me, I thought it was my fault. I tried everything to make things right. I got a higher paying job so that we could have less worries about bills and could use the extra money to spend on whatever we needed to spend more time together as a couple away from the children and to use on things to spcie up our love life. But instead, he accused me of cheating and turned into a man I did not know at all. After 3 years apart he supposedly couldn't stand being without me and claimed to want me back in his life. He even paid to have me and the children move to where he was so we could be together. Yet, he continued to text/talk to other women. When I went to him in a calm way and told him that I felt disrespected and used, and wanted to know why he had me here if he didn't want our marriage to work, he told me that I was making a big deal about nothing and that I shouldn't worry about the other women because I was the one that was here physically. For you who think cheating is okay, you have no idea how much emotional damage you are doing to the other person. As for my husband, he will soon be free to do whatever he wants because I do not plan to stay in a relationship such as this.

...and educative?

Wait a minute. You mean men cheat? Next thing you know women are gonna start doing it too. Hey if you give your word on something then follow through, or at least let your partner know that your word isn't any good in advance. No amount of "He/she doesn't understand me." makes me less of a liar if I break my promise. I can always not agree in the first place.

Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat

I like the article but it really doesnt explain why men or women cheat. I believe its more mentally then anything. I find that people are not being themselves out of desperation to not be alone or to hold on to their deepest desires they wear a mask. 7 out to 10 men and women when they meet someone try to be who that person wants them to be inorder to win favor with that individual. This can last 1-2 years until the person being factitious starts to feel comfortable. Once comfortability sets in people become relax and do what is familar to them. This is the turning a point, a man who use to take the women out by her flowers to impress stops, because that is not him anyway he was wearing a mask. And the women, stop taking care of themselves, the sex slows down and the arguments start over nothing. As a man, I have been in relationships where I have been me from the begining loving caring, supportive, a provider etc. Most women are not use to that and dont know how to accept or return reciprocity. Us men need to receive what we give if not we will soon loose interest and test waters, not really wanting to live the one were with but we have to obtain some happiness where it lacks. Most men dont tell the other women that he is pursing that he is married or has a girlfriend from fear that he will be rejected. So we lie and we start a whole relationship with this new women as if we are single caring about her giving her attention for as long as we can until we either get caught or go back to or wives or girlfriends or unless the women that he is cheating with supplies his needs. I dont think cheating is inevitable for a man, I am sorry guys but at some point in our lives we will cheat. We are physical creatures with sexual needs and desires.