Apr 25 2008

Where would you stand... If all they could do was, sit!

Very great to read, on the serious note!!!

Thanks for the article.

I have thought of dating with disability. I just have not met someone who is disabled around my age. With one exception. I know I could not handle dating someone with a mental disability where control of such depends on medication. I have seen too many cases of a person or persons not taking the meds and problems ensue. The thing that is most important to me is the heart of a person, not the outside shell. The shell could change with an accident, a stroke, etc. That is just my humble opinion. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone.

I have to admit, i thought to myself once that i could date someone who was disabled. it was after i saw a couple together and he was paralyzed from the neck down and she took care of him. the hard part is, most of them do not live long even with top notch care because their body breaks down. so at first i was like.., " now thats true love" but then i said, "wow, she has to be strong because he may not live to see the next 10 yrs." cost never came into play when i was thinking about it. it was more the problem of how much time i would have with that person. so it made me think, what if i was already in a relationship and something happened to my partner? would i stay or stick him in a nursing home? honestly, i would stay unless his care was beyond what i could physically do for him and even then, i would spend as much time with him in the hospital as i could until he passed. but i dont want to ask this to happen. so all i can say is i would do my best to keep my word and thats to love him for him.

Great article, thanks for posting...

If I found a cute, available guy, and we got on well, it wouldn't make any difference to me if he was disabled, as long as we could have good sex. As for dumbing down, I have always dumbed down in relationships, as I have not yet found anyone of my intellectual capacity whom I find remotely attractive.

Thanks for the article. Very informative.

I love all the noble comments, but I have to comment from the 'disabled' side of things. I am a very attractive woman of color who has dated a lot. A lot. I am also legally blind in one eye and it wanders a bit, and have been so since the age of 5, so it's pretty much a nonissue with me. As a 20something dating, I was interested in a guy and we spent time together over New Year's Eve/Day at a house party thrown by some friends of his. I overheard him asking one of his guy friends what he though of me. The guy replied, "She's really pretty, but if her eye was straight, she'd be better looking". He told they guy that I was blind, and that to not get to know someone because of something so superficial is pretty rediculous. I've actually heard the same thing from this guy on the subway once(he was with friends)years ago as a teen. I sarcastically told him that if he wanted to pay for the surgery, he could go ahead and make me prettier if he wanted. He tried to turn it around and embarass me, but I told him he did me a favor of blowing up his own spot so I didn't waste the paper giving him my number. His friends laughed at him, and people who overheard him dissed him for trying to go off on me. I mention these two points because so many people are looking for "perfection" in others. I don't remember my blindness until someone else reminds me of it. I've had very nice relationships with men who could care less about my blindness and I'm not discounting the majority of the men I've met and dated who could care less. Just remember that disablity is not just a phyical or mental challenge.

Though questions arise from this article. To what extend should one stick around and offer her or himself to the other while life passes by. Are you maybe hurting the disabled person more by being there but actually not being there. What is your attitude, mercy, pity, loyalty, sacrifice? Which disablity is more difficult to handle? Blindness or Bitterness, Paralyzed or anger tempers from abusive spouse, so in a point we are all disabled physically, emotionally, or whatever, just the degrees and influence it has on the ones who surround you make maybe a difference